What can you as a wife do – in practice – to SHOW your husband that you love him?
What does your husband want/need from you?
1. A truth you need to grasp:
Your husband needs to know that you trust and respect him.
2. Six habits you need to develop:
(i) Be positive. Don’t make him a receptacle for all your complaints. Don’t greet him with complaints the minute he comes home from work. Create a peaceful atmosphere at home. Believe that he loves you.
(ii) Contribute to the relationship. Don’t expect more from him than you are willing to give. Don’t think that just cooking for him is enough. When he smiles at you, smile back. Don’t expect him to always initiate sex.
(iii) Listen. Let him finish what he wants to say without immediately jumping in to say something.
(iv) Share everything with him. He shouldn’t hear something from someone else that he should have heard first from you.
(v) Put him first, not the children. Notice him.
(vi) Be willing to recognize that you aren’t perfect. Be honest with yourself. Don’t give him the impression that he is the only one who needs to change.
3. Three obstacles you may face in forming these habits:
(i) Your lack of understanding of a man’s life: “A man’s house has one room for love. A woman’s whole house is love.”
(ii) Your expectations are too high: You want material goods, emotional closeness, the perfect husband and therefore the perfect life. You make him responsible for your happiness.
(iii) Culture and law: Because the culture considers women to be subservient to men, you may be afraid to express your feelings or to initiate sexual intimacy.
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These insights were gathered from men in a seminars in numerous cities in a particular area of the world over a period of several years. As I presented my talk on “Communicating love to your wife” to mixed groups of men and women, mostly married couples, I asked the men to also come up with one truth, six habits, and three obstacles. The feelings expressed in all groups were remarkably similar.
These statements come from a particular culture. Do they resonate with you, from your experience? How do these desires compare with God’s instructions to wives in biblical passages such as Genesis 1:28 and 2:24, Ephesians 5:21-33, and James 1:19?
What can teen girls learn about the desires of men in a marriage relationship that can help prepare them for marriage in the future?
