Before I even began to speak, one of the young seminary students asked, “How can we know what is right and wrong in sex? We only know what we see in the movies or on TV or on the Internet. I know that’s not right, but how can I know what is right?”
A young college student sees the campus counselor because she is failing her courses. She can’t concentrate. She is seriously depressed. The counselor asks questions, prescribes medication. Asks questions about everything, except what is probably the real cause of her problems — her sexual history: the hook-ups that have left her feeling used and empty and unlovable, or the abortion she thought would “solve the problem.”
A young couple is told by their doctor that they will not be able to have a child, because the wife has had chlamydia, probably contracted in her teens. “I didn’t know,” she says.
Why don’t they know, these teens and young adults? Why don’t they have a sense of right and wrong in romantic relationships? Why don’t they know about the potential harm — physical, emotional, spiritual, relational — of premature sexual relationships ?
Some have never been taught, so they just do whatever their peers are doing, or what they see in the media, without thinking too much about what they are doing. Some simply accept at face value the “safe sex” message of the “experts” (their sex ed teachers, the school nurse, health care personnel, other adults) that sex is natural and normal, part of a relationship, or something to do on a Friday night. Experiment, find out what you like. Just be sure that both of you want to, and use a condom.
Sometimes the “experts” on whom these young people depend are themselves uninformed, or misinformed, because it’s not politically correct to tell the truth about casual sex. Or sometimes, because of the ideology that makes sex an idol — the ultimate source of happiness — they don’t want to hear the truth: “My mind is made up. Don’t confuse me with the facts.”
Young people need to know the truth about sex. Some want to know, because they want to do what is right. Some of their would-be teachers would tell them the truth, if they knew it. Where can they find the facts? Who is speaking out? Telling it like it is?
There are truth tellers. Dr. Marian Grossman is one of them. She has seen hundreds and hundreds of young people in distress due to unwise sexual decisions and actions. She does the research, and the information on her web site is based on hard science and common sense . She writes about sex education and reproductive health: sexually transmitted infections, high risk behaviors, abortion. She is the author of Unprotected: A Campus Psychiatrist Reveals How Political Correctness in Her Profession Endangers Every Student and You’re Teaching My Children What? Her booklet Sense & Sensuality for young women entering college can be downloaded from her web site. Dr. Grossman is “one hundred percent MD, Zero percent PC.”
The Medical Institute for Sexual Health. They provide medically accurate, up to date information about sexual health in the form of brochures on sexually transmitted diseases, DVDs like Sex Is Not a Game, a pamphlet for parents called Connected Parents, Healthy Youth, and guidelines for the kind of sex education that will lead to healthy relationships now and a future free from regrets. Much of their material is also available in Spanish.
The Love and Fidelity Network. This network is made up of student groups on ivy league campuses. They show the dark side of the “hook-up” campus culture and promote a healthy view of family, marriage and sexuality. The web sites of the Anscombe Society (at Princeton,MIT, Stanford, Harvard, etc.) “are dedicated to affirming . . . a chaste lifestyle which respects and appreciates human sexuality, relationships, and dignity.” They sponsor events on their respective campuses, publish articles, appear on the media.
CMDA (the Christian Medical and Dental Associations). Their ethics statements on sexuality, abortion, homosexuality, and reproduction are based on scientific, moral, and biblical principles.
Mercator.net (Australia) is “a voice for human dignity” on all aspects of life, including sexuality. You can subscribe to their weekly emails, which link you to serious commentaries and reflective blogs. This week’s email includes “What Pope Francis said about gays and what people heard” and “The science of human attraction.”
Family and Youth Concern (United Kingdom). Their research allows them to state unequivocally that “there is no area in social science in which the evidence stacks up so completely on one side: marriage and traditional family life are associated with good outcomes in terms of health, wealth and other indicators of well being.”
If you — parents, teachers, counselors, youth leaders, pastors — want your teens to have the information they need for sexual health, you need to speak up. And in order to speak up with an authoritative voice, you need to give them information that is biblically sound and based on solid research. You can find this information on the six web sites mentioned above and others under “Resources/Links” here on my web site.
But there may be another reason why young people aren’t hearing the truth about sex. Maybe it’s because few seem to care.
Last month, three teenagers died in a car accident in Nova Scotia, Canada, where I live. Dr. John Ross, an emergency physician called to tend to one of the seriously injured teens, reflected on this horrific accident in an article in the local newspaper. He addressed the drinking that probably caused the accident, but consider how much of what he says could be applied to unwise decisions about sex.
“Alcohol intoxication, risk-taking, binge-drinking, under-age drinking are all apparently a rite of passage in Nova Scotia. The annual cull on our highways and waterways (drownings) and other 100 percent preventable injuries (italics added) are just collateral damage — acceptable, I guess, because few seem to care (italics in original). In one of the accidents, there were seven people, all under 21 years of age, unbelted, in a subcompact car that went off the road.” The general public doesn’t hear about the consequences of accidents like this, Dr. Ross wrote, “life-long mixtures of the effects of acquired brain injury, follow-up surgeries, surgical complications, intensive care, chronic pain, paralysis, depression, addictions, and employment problems, to name a few. Families and friends are affected. The majority of these crashes are the result of alcohol misuse. . . This makes us all responsible for challenging this ridiculous culture of acceptance of alcohol abuse in Nova Scotia. When are we going to challenge the ‘fun lifestyle’ marketing of beer and liquor corporations, the NSLC, binge-drinking promotion at bars, and our culture that believes that drinking large volumes of a nerve poison is normal?”
A “rite of passage.”
“100 percent preventable.”
A “fun lifestyle” promoted by the media, the politically correct elite, and much sex education.
Effects on the brain, addiction, depression for the teen, trauma for family and friends.
Yet “sexual freedom” is regarded as acceptable, even promoted. Is this because “few seem to care”?
Do you care? Will you speak up?
Internet links:
Dr. Miriam Grossman, MD, http://www.miriamgrossmanmd.com/
The Medical Institute for Sexual Health, https://www.medinstitute.org
The Love and Fidelity Network, http://www.loveandfidelity.orgedu
Christian Medical and Dental Associations, http://www.cmda.org/wcm
Mercator.net, http://www.mercatornet.com
Family and Youth Concern, http://www.famyouth.org.uk
